How To Resolve Conflict

Conflict is a disagreement that occurs when individuals or groups differ in opinions, beliefs and values as well as ways and means of doing things in an organization.

Management has to be alert to the group dynamics and the potential of conflict to create problems which greatly affect the productivity of the workforce and profitability of the company. Unresolved conflict among individuals not only harms effective relationships among them but also adversely affects their mental health and the cordial atmosphere of the office environment. Moreover, it can directly or indirectly produce sub-optimal work performance. It is therefore imperative that we know how to resolve conflicts at home or at the workplace and to do so quickly and effectively.

Causes of Conflict

Studies have shown that the main causes of conflict in organizations are due to:

• Differing attitudes, values or perceptions
• Poor communication
• Lack of teamwork and team spirit
• Unclear scope of job functions, duties and responsibilities
• Lack of system or standard operating procedures
• Lack of resources; equipment, manpower, finance

Conflict resolution mechanisms can fall into two categories:

1. in which the disputants work among themselves to settle their differences, and

2. in which a mediator (an uninvolved, impartial "third party") helps the disputants reach agreement.

Important Strategies To Adopt in Conflict Resolution

• Active listening: where participants summarize what each has said to ensure accurate comprehension. Dr Steven Covey describes this as “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” in his Habit 5 of his bestseller “ 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. The need to establish common ground and understanding of each other’s situation must be established. Listen with intent to understand; not with intent to respond.
• Cooperation between disputants: understanding and empathy to resolve matters amicably must prevail. It is not “you versus me”, it is “you and me” versus “the problem”. Define the problem. Do not get personal. Ask ‘What are your concerns?. What are we trying to achieve?” and “How can we work this out together to achieve our goals?” .
• Acceptance of each other's differences: mutual respect and understanding of one another’s situation. Sort out facts from perceptions. Remove the violence and conflict and purify your heart before you negotiate. Learn to let go and forgive, reconciliation cannot work without forgiveness in our hearts.
• Creative problem-solving: thinking out of the box, creating options and solutions that are win-win for both parties.

The Ingredients Of Conflict

1. Needs – We have to focus on needs. Conflicts arise when we ignore others' needs, our own needs or the group's needs.

2. Perceptions – Every person interprets a situation differently, in terms of severity, causes and effects of a problem. Their differing view-points are largely influenced by their personal experiences and objectives.

3. Power - How people define and use power affects conflicts. Conflicts can arise when power is manipulated to gain an unfair advantage.

4. Values - Values are beliefs or principles we consider to be very important. Serious conflicts arise when people hold incompatible values.

5. Feelings and emotions – To be rational and objective is important in dealing with conflict. Many people let their feelings and emotions become a major influence over how they deal with conflict. Conflicts can also occur because people ignore their own or others' feelings and emotions.

What Are The Skills We Need To Handle Conflict?

1. Communication Skills: questioning, listening skills

2. Facilitation Skills: interpersonal skills, training skills

3. Negotiation Skills: creating options, solutions

4. Leadership Skills: time management skills , convergent and divergent thinking skills, motivating skills, teambuilding and teamwork skills

5. Problem Solving Skills: root cause analysis, critical and creative thinking skills

6. Decision Making Skills: selecting best option among various options, fairness, objectivity

Strategies in Handling Conflict

       The choice of strategy depends on;

• The objectives and scope of the particular conflict.
• The goodwill between the parties; whether they intend to work together after the negotiation has been concluded.
• Whether the parties are negotiating to end an existing agreement/arrangement e.g. a marriage or partnership.
• Whether the parties have a history of dealing with each other before, and are likely to do in the future.

The Different Styles of Negotiating

1. Competitive (Win-Lose)

2. Collaborative, Constructive, Co-operative (Win-Win)

3. Principled, Compromising, Problem Solving Negotiation (Win-Win, Lose-Lose)

1. Competitive or Win-Lose

Such negotiations produce a winner and a loser. They are usually confrontational; where one party wants to take advantage of the other party and the situation. Win-lose strategies are compared to gamesmanship. There is no regard for goodwill or future relationship and the tactic is to pressurize the other side to concede resulting in resentment and distrust.

2. Collaborative, Constructive, Co-operative (Win-Win)

This is the most appropriate strategy aiming for consensus for an agreement. Both sides pursue solutions that satisfy every one's needs and both parties want to continue a good relationship. This strategy emphasizes the importance of building and maintaining the relationship.

Once you have agreed on the conflict itself, you can join forces to resolve it in a way that meets every one's needs.

3. Principled, Problem Solving Or Win-Win, Lose-Lose

This strategy aims at problem solving.

According to Fisher and Ury in their book “ Getting to Yes: Negotiation Agreement Without Giving In”, this strategy separates the people from the problem and focuses mainly on each party’s underlying interests rather than their rigid positions.

Principled negotiators create options and objective standards. The aim is to have an end result that will be based on some fair standard, independent of the will of the other side.

Lose –Lose Strategy

When both parties decide to call it quits and cut the relationship e.g. in a divorce both sides take their losses.

Conclusion

The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them. – Tom Crum

Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. – William James

Please enjoy the video How to Resolve Conflict by Changing Attitude .

It contains useful strategies for resolving conflict by changing attitude.